Neil's Rules for Workplace Nosebleeds
The lesson would be this:
1. You are a grown man/woman. Unless your spouse works up in here, take care of it yourself.
2. We don't want to see/hear/smell your blood if at all possible.
3. IF the tissue isn't working for you, get out of the chair and take your grown up self to the bathroom where you will find abundant tissue and water to clean yourself up.
4. Finally, no one wants to see the remains of your blood-stained tissues littering the garbage everytime we have to pitch our copier trash, so take the garbage out after you put your blood rags in it.
5. If you follow these simple rules, we won't have to vomit on you.
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