Remembering

The time line of loss. Michael Ray in March. Then Tyler Chapman in October. My beloved Motek in January followed by Mordi in February. Then Alisa Siegel in April, just after Michael's 1st yahrzeit. This past week, just 2 short years ago, I was at the hospital, holding Tyler's hand, unaware that he was already brain dead. Helping Lisa fill out the forms for organ donation for her son. Trying to manage Lisa's grief and behavior as she was nearly being kicked out of the hospital. Negotiating with security, the hospital. Begging them to let Lisa stay with her son. Trying to help her conform so she could stay

Connecting with her son, Joshua. Worrying about my own children as I left them for hours upon hours to be with Lisa during this tragedy. Calling my sister to come take my place. She has better skills than me. And I was too close to the situation.

Then came the weeks of spiraling drug and alcohol abuse mixed with a healthy dose of mental illness and suicidal ideation. I somewhat knew early on after Tyler died that Lisa wasn't going to make it.

But today is Tyler's day. It's his yahrzeit. This kid with so much musical talent. So much to give the world. This is the lesson, friends. Sometimes kids can't get past their childhood, especially if they have no supports. They turn to harmful coping mechanism or ways to dull the pain. Tyler was worth more than he was given. And he is missed, by his brothers, his aunt, uncle, great aunt, cousins, relatives, friends.

Give Lisa a hug for me, Tyler. I hope you are both experiencing peace. 

(Tyler is in the suit)